Applying assertiveness

An effective manager needs to behave in an active and assertive manner to get things done. Assertive managers are able to express their feelings and act with appropriate degrees of openness and candor, but still have a regard for the feelings and rights of others.

Understanding personality types

Assertiveness and the ability to express feelings are skills that people possess to different extents. Some are aggressive, direct, and blunt, and can appear domineering, pushy, or selfcentered. Some people tend to be passive, inhibited, and submissive; they bottle up their feelings and fail even to stand up for their legitimate rights. Passive individuals seek to avoid conflicts and tend to sublimate their own needs and feelings in order to satisfy others.

Assertive behavior for effective management

Most people fall between the extremes of passive and aggressive. At these extremes, passive and aggressive behaviors hinder effective managerial relations because neither encourages openness. Effective managers need to be assertive, express their ideas and feelings openly, and stand up for their rights, and all in a way that makes it easier for those they are managing to do the same. The assertive manager is always sensitive to the needs of others; he or she does not seek to rule less assertive people. Trying to achieve dominance may produce short-term results but will not make the best use of the abilities of members of your team.

The assertive manager is straightforward yet sensitive to the needs of others

Becoming more assertive

STATE YOUR CASE Try beginning your
conversations with “I” phrases, such as
“I think,” “I believe,” or “I need.”

BE PREPARED Prepare for tricky
encounters: have all the facts on hand, and try to anticipate the other person’s replies.

USE OPEN QUESTIONS

If you are finding it hard
to get a person to talk to you, use open questions that cannot be answered with a simple “yes” or “no” answer.

VISUALIZE YOURSELF Try assertive role play with a trusted colleague, to help you see yourself as an assertive person.

GET PERSPECTIVE Try to see a situation
from the other person’s point of view. Most workplace bullies, for example, are hiding their own insecurities or an inability to do the job.

BE PATIENT You’ll need time and practice to become comfortable with the
new behavior. Recognize that those around you may initially be uncomfortable when you start to become more assertive.

ASK YOURSELF… Am I assertive enough? yes/no type

1. Does my response accurately reflect how I feel if I’m given a compliment about my work?
2. Am I able to speak up when I’m in a group of strangers? .
3. If others interrupt me when I am talking, can I hold my ground? .
4. Do I avoid being taken advantage of by other people?
5. Am I able to criticize others’ work if I think they might react badly? ..